Index to support mental, physical and emotional well being

Over recent weeks, as I've delivered "soft skills and mindsets for unprecedented times" sessions, I have been heard to say "I've written a blog on that" - with over 500 posts in this blog alone you'd like to hope so. 

Here's a list of just some of those very posts that I think would be helpful as we face what were unimaginable situations only a few short weeks ago.

Just pick one that resonates, read a few or read them all over the next few weeks.

What ever works for you.

• I've not got the bandwidth at the moment - a reminder to cut yourself some slack as everything we do has been brought into conscious awareness.

• Unprecedented times - a reminder that words have power and the words we choose to describe the current situation have the power to push us away or towards well-being. 
• The difference that will make the difference - what will help each of us at the moment to find balance will be as unique as we each are and it's about finding the difference that will make the difference - here's another post in the same vein but using the local jet skiers as an example of what not to do!

• Motivation is an inside job - a reminder to not give our power away to a virus or other people.
• Absurdity - sometimes the only way to shift our thinking is to get silly with it all.  
• Do need to take your rose coloured spectacles off - self awareness will help point you in the direction where change is needed in order to find that balance of well-being.
• What role are you playing - perhaps worthy of an update very soon as the roles we play in a pandemic will certainly support or hinder our personal flourishing and will be very different to the roles we were playing only a few weeks ago!
• Juggling balls or spinning plates - when in overwhelm it's easy to forget to put the balls down or stop spinning those plates.   

• Being on the same page as others - with such unimaginable things happening it's easy to get out of sync with others and also the facts and data. Whilst not written with the pandemic in mind I wonder whether this more metaphorical exploration might help get us all on the same page, or at least feeling like there's less of a mismatch? 
• My advent series of posts using unconventional tools to provide different perspectives to a situation might provide a few interesting ideas from which to view the current situation and more importantly find a more resourceful mindset to cope with it from.  

and just been reminded of a couple of short stories I've written that might help too

• The wave - my favourite short story I've written about a wave - you need to read it to understand why I love it - mindfulness meets landscaping your life 
• The stone - another short story about the impact of being off kilter!

An index of posts using metaphor to help find that place of calm and balance can be found over on my over Landscaping you life blog.

You may also like my keeping afloat vlogs too :-) or join us on the let's get zagging facebook page were I share regular posts to help keep afloat.

Do let me know if something I've written resonates - and do please also share this index with others who you think might benefit.

If you'd like to be kept up to date with what I'm up to you can sign up for my newsletter here.

Social media detox

In a recent workshop in Shanghai we were exploring the different ways of facilitating a more creative mindset. The theory being that a creative mindset would enable us to identify even more opportunities and options for "what next". 

Doing something different and getting out of the normal routine, whether for meetings, life more generally or these type of brainstorming sessions was high on the list.

After returning from Shanghai I had a few days at work and then, with friends arriving, committed to have a break from social media. The aim being to take time to just be in the now, and see what ideas came to mind. 

In the past I've taken the odd weekend off social media, and didn't find longer holidays that much of a problem either. These weekends might consist of use of the phone solely for phone calls and texts, with iPad turned off and left in the office. With emails happily left unopened for the duration.

Wow - how times have changed, and how easily my phone and iPad have come to provide a crutch for day to day living. A crutch that it seems has stopped me from thinking - never mind thinking creatively. 

Here's what I discovered: 

• Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn: these were easy - I just deleted the apps from my phone and iPad and left them alone. Ignoring the desire to share a picture of my friends and I on FB, and knowing it would wait till the weekend.
• Emails: on one account I was able to leave an out of office. On the other the problem (or was it an excuse) was I was waiting for 4 or 5 replies to emails. So I decided to go email free for the weekend and just check in with emails via iPad at the end of each day. Not engaging with any others than those I'd been waiting for and that impacted my plans over the next 10 days.
• News: the News app, along with social media and emails, has been the one major area of time lost on the phone/iPad. So I intended to restrict its use - ether watching TV news or listening to radio news. This intention was harder to keep to. 
• Others apps: I had hoped to be able to leave my iPhone alone, and where possible I did, but hadn't realised how I had allowed it to act as a crutch for every day living for things such as:

• Tide times for the local beach
• Google maps for location of places we were visiting
• Weather forecast
• Websites for opening times
• Twitter for Traffic Scotland updates - always useful for the A9
• Amazon prime video - I've not watched a DVD for ages
• MIT Edx - for Ulab MOOC
• FMTV - source of health and wellbeing videos
• YouTube - Ted talks, music videos (I'm mesmerised by Christine and the queens every time I venture on)
• Amazon - say no more 
• Recipes 
• Sainsburys grocery shopping 
• Kindle for reading
• and so on

I've only been back on line a day and so far have used my phone/iPad much less than I had been prior to the break. If that continues then I will be able to say the detox was successful.

Time away from social media has given me more time to read and do things that I've missed - we'll have to see if that's just because I was on holiday?

What do you need a detox from? and when will you take it?


Alison Smith
Inspiring change inside and out - in procurement and those (not so) soft skills

How's your supplier's mental health?

I recently attended Let's talk about it - changing attitudes towards mental health at work. A conference that reminded us all of the benefit of talking more about mental health.

You'll see from the blog the different ways we were being encouraged to speak about mental health.

It got me thinking about talking about mental health with suppliers.

For example when did you last ask a supplier's representative:

• Are you okay?
• What can we do to help? 
• Which of our behaviours are negatively impacting the mental health of you, or others within your organisation 
• What could we do more of? 
• What should we do less of?
• What shall we keep doing?

Or shared with them how their behaviours are impacting the mental health of those within the buying organisation.

It's so easy to talk in terms of orders, invoices, contract terms, service level agreements, key performance indicators, and forget we're often just human beings dealing with other human beings.

Human beings with mental health that can either support their ability to do their job or not!

In the blog "But I don't do soft fluffy stuff" I tackled, even if perhaps a little too vociferously, my belief that we're all human beings and not androids. This belief is the reason why I believe procurement has a responsibility for ensuring it doesn't abuse it's power, nor push supplier's to break point. Especially when we hear stories of many people broken due to Tesco's, and other organisations', behaviour with respect to payment.

It's too easy I suspect to say "I wouldn't do that!", and then move onto the next blog, and forget all about the question.

I am sure my actions over the years, however unintentional, have negatively impacted others. Should I just think "Tough! I was just doing my job" or "I wonder how I can do this differently now and in the future?"

Not an easy quandary to answer - especially when many organisations aren't even talking about, nor considering, the mental health of its own employees - never mind those of other organisations.

Other blog's written along the same vein include:

• Are you're supplier's afraid to say no" 
• Low cost vs ethical pricing
• Is there room for kindness in procurement?
• Toxic leadership - another blog arising from attendance of the conference
• and perhaps taking the human/human interaction one stage further, and looking at human/earth interactions with "If the Earth was a supplier" 

Do you think it's procurement's responsibility to consider our impact on a supplier's mental health? and they yours?

I'd love to know your thoughts - do leave comments below.

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring change inside and out - and here's why I think inspiring change is important and necessary if you're wanting sustainable change for the future

Adrenaline junkie *

I'm writing this on my iPad as I eat my breakfast sitting in my garden. 

It's 0832 on Monday morning, the sun is shining (till 1300 anyway) and I'm working from home today. I have no calls scheduled in the diary, and have some nice chunky work to do (you know rather than the 20 minutes of this, 30 minutes of that, interrupted by a number of 45 minute conference calls).

Yet I feel guilty for sitting here - I even had to drag myself passed the office door. 

A voice whispered "just check your emails first." I knew however, that if I listen to that voice and took that left turn into the office, I'd be eating breakfast at my desk, and would be there for the rest of the day. 

It's a feeling I recognise, and one I know signals a holiday is well over due. The signal that adrenaline is fuelling the need for constant doing, and knowing there isn't an ever replenishing supply of adrenaline available 24/7 365.  

I've caught the feeling earlier than normal and have booked a week off next week. I wonder whether that's why I found it easier to have breakfast on the beach yesterday morning. 

Perhaps that's the Key Performance Indicator (KPI) I should be measuring to track my well-being - 'the number of breakfast's eaten outside'? Or perhaps even 'the number of paddles taken' :-)

What triggers you to notice you're headed away from well being and balance, and towards stress and burn out?

• Number of cancelled dates with family or friends
• Number of meals eaten at the desk or on the go
• Number of days you skipped breakfast or lunch
• Number of days you get home from work and fall straight into bed
• Number of days you feel no sunshine on your skin
• Number of days when the only walking under taken was from car to office and back
• Number of days without laughter
• Number of days where time available for sleep due to your schedule was less than 7 hours

You could argue that even 1 day of any of the above in a week is unacceptable. I suspect, however, we'd all choose a number slightly higher than that to provide some leeway for busyness and doing.

Its 0902 now and my breakfast is eaten and blog written (yes I realise that could also be a replacement activity for not being in the office). 

The desire to get to the office is even stronger now and that whisper is getting louder ....

• "There may be an important email" 

and I attempt to quieten it with:

• "If there is an important email they'll call too - no one relies on email if it's urgent !!"
• "It wasn't there on Friday evening - no one works over the weekend!!"
• "You're on top of all your actions - no one would add more to your to-do list without first checking that's OK!!"
• "You're more effective when you've taken time to just be - no one thinks that we have to be at our desk from 9-5 any more !!"
• "The sun is great for vitamin D and helps your well being - no one discounts the impact of our well-being on our effectiveness at work!!"
• "Breakfast eaten slowly and mindfully is more nourishing for you - no one believes eating on the go is good for you!!"

Oh dear - it seems the only answer that quietens the need for doing is:

• "It's ok you can work later tonight and make up for it."

As ever on my own well being - the talking is easier than the walking! 

Although as it's going to rain at 1300 that last comment has made we wonder about going for a walk (once I'd checked my email mind) as I really can work later tonight, and it's scheduled to rain for the next few days so time spent in the sun now will help for the next few days spent inside. 

It's 0919 and if I go for a walk it may be a while till I really hit that laptop :-). 

After 15 minutes of dealing with emails, and calls being scheduled for later, I did manage that walk and even managed a paddle in the sea. 

It's 10:33 and I'm now going to start my day and feel much better for the start I gave myself.

I would love to know the trigger that has you reassessing the speed that you're running your life at, and what helps you stop adrenaline's call.

Alison Smith

Inspiring change - inside and out - when what you're doing isn't working 

* A reminder I hope that adrenaline junkies don't just drive fast cars, jump out of planes or climb steep cliffs. A junkie in the sense that you can't stop the current behaviour and don't want to either - despite knowing in the long run it's no good for you and you really should stop - would benefit from the stop too! 

Sleep - allowing more room for new information

I went to bed early last night - before 2300 anyway - and woke at 0630. I had also, unlike many nights previously, not woken in the night mind whirling about things to do.

Having written a blog on the signs that the constant doing has taken over I realised this morning I'd totally forgotten about sleep!! Despite it being a frequent topic in coaching sessions with clients.

I've always been an early to bed sort of girl - early being before 2230 and ideally before 2200 and waking around 0630. 

I'd not noticed as the 'doing' took over the slow movement of my going to bed time. 2200 became 2215 and then 2230. Before I knew it it was 2345 and then 0030!! A slow reduction in the number, and quality, of hours asleep.

Whilst scientists don't know definitively why we need sleep they know we do need it. Not least to put into long term memory today's stuff! It's a bit like filing emails into folders. If your emails stay in the inbox sooner or later you just can't find anything, or you exceed your capacity and can't receive any new emails until you've emptied your inbox. 

 

Our brain is the same and sleep provides the opportunity to undertake this filing - improving access to your memory, and allowing for new memories and information to be stored, and avoiding overload.

Going to bed after 0000 isn't a problem but for me it is when I'm doing it every night.

 

I'm aiming for 2200 bedtime tonight. You? 

Alison Smith

Inspiring change inside and out

Don't go cold turkey this Christmas

I don't want you to go cold turkey this Christmas but I would like to you to consider your addictions and the impact they have on your life and how you may wean yourself off them. After all what benefits might there be in 2013 if your behaviour was no longer determined by your next fix of: tweeting, blogging, reading emails, compliments, attention, news, chocolate, wheat, sugar, caffeine or what ever else you might be addicted to.

As you can see by addictions I'm not looking at those I have no qualifications and experience in ie addiction to illegal or prescription drugs, alcohol etc. I'm looking at the addiction we have to all the other things we say "I couldn't live without it for a day - I'd die". Perhaps a little extreme a reaction but I would like you to notice your reaction to you considering going 3 days without each of the following:

• Access to emails
• Access to the Internet
• Eating chocolate or sweets
• Drinking Caffeine in its many forms
• Bread and other wheat products (pasta to name one)
• Your favourite TV programme or Game (you know the one you watch or play repeatedly) 
• Reading or watching the news

Now what about your reaction to going 3 days without:

• Eating your favourite fruit or vegetable
• Drinking water (by drinking other fluids instead)
• Talking to a friend 
• Writing to a colleague
• Reading a book
• Listening to music
• Going to the library to use a reference book

If you're an addict then your reaction to going 3 days without anything on the first list is likely to be a lot different to your reaction to the second list. Although I know I am making an assumption about the unlikeliness of you being addicted to anything in the second list.

Of course some addictions hide and we're in denial about the impact they have on our lives. We only realise the strength of the addiction when we try going 3 days without something - although we do need to go 28 days to really get it out of our system.

As I've shared in blogs over the last few months I've been having problems with my knees. The doctor suggested a new knee and I thought I'd look at what else might be impacting the pain I was having. This blog isn't about the link between wheat and my pain it's a blog about how addicted I was to wheat without knowing it.

In the past, for a variety of reasons, I've tried many different exclusion diets - meat, alchol, dairy, nightshades (pots & toms) and had very few problems with doing so for up to 28 days or more in some cases. Although that first jacket potato with cheese and beans after the nightshade exclusion was pure bliss. It was a totally different story when I tried to give up wheat. A reaction that I can only put down to being addicted to wheat because it included:

• Saying "It's impossible to have a meal without wheat"
• Looking in my very full fridge and having no clue what I could make 
• Being told, 4 weeks in, I was becoming boring because it was all I talked about
• It was all I thought about too
• Moodiness
• Grumpy too

All I can say is if I had a healthy relationship with wheat and went without it for a time it shoudn't be noticeable to me or you. It certainly shouldn't consume my every waking moment. It certainly shouldn't stop my ability to see alternatives that exist in the situation.

What would consume your every waking moment if you gave it up and what steps will you take to easily release the hold of this addiction?

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring change inside and out

Cold turkey picture source: anothercreation.blogspot.co.uk via Alison on Pinterest

The conspiracies we support on our wellbeing

I don't generally buy into conspiracy theories - you know the ones where political and self interest motivations are given as reasons for us being manipulated into believing an event happened a particular way - like going to the moon - when in in fact the theory suggests it didn't ever happen.

For me the reason many of these theories remain as as just theories and not proven fact is because despite the evidence put forward to refute that the event ever happened:

• There's always evidence it did
• There's always arguments that explain away the conspiracy theorists 'evidence'

and the most compelling for me and the definition of a true conspiracy theory is:

• No one ever comes forward and says "here's the evidence of what did happen instead" 

If this later criteria is not met then I'd suggest it's not a conspiracy theory either.

However I am starting to wonder about the conspiracy we're all buying into with respect to our well being. Perhaps conspiracy is the wrong word - but use of conspiracy at least acknowledges that we're presenting facts in a way to distort them. And whilst I could point fingers at manufacturers & pharmaceutical companies it's us that I'm accusing of conspiring together - after all they argue they're only giving us what we say we want. Why conspiracy - because we'd prefer to bury our heads in the sand and believe the stories we're telling ourselves than make the changes we know we should be making. In fact we so don't want it to be true we label the facts as 'conspiracies' and the 'conspiracies' as facts!

I know I might be at one end of the continuum on well being from others and of course I realise I may too be buying into just a different conspiracy theory but I can't help but feel we all know that too much of the following can negatively impact our health:

• smoking
• alcohol
• sugar
• salt
• the wrong sort of fats 
• processed foods
• couch potato like tendancies 

and at an individual level we may also have allergies (that we generally do take action on) or intolerances or reactions to other food groups such as, but certainly not limited to:

• dairy
• wheat
• nightshades - pots, toms, peppers
• preservatives & chemicals
• meat
• carbs (too many of them anyway)
• etc

It's such a shame that most of us only make changes when provided with the motivation to do so via ill health - sometimes too late to make changes that would determine a different outcome. Instead we ignore the signs along the way such as fatigue, nervousness, irritability, digestive upsets, aches and pains etc and put them down to age, too much work, not enough sleep last night etc. (Here's a blog I wrote earlier this week on the illusion of the quick fix both in well being and business.)

The impact ignoring the above has will be different for each of us because, unlike going to the moon where there is only one way it happened, we're each unique and impacted by different things. The question remains though - what conspiracy do you know you need to stop believing and what changes will you make?

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Sowing the seeds for effective purchasing and also for well being & life balance for purchasers and non purchasers alike.

Source: en.wikipedia.org via Alison on Pinterest

What could go wrong with a dipstick?

"What could go wrong with a dipstick?" I asked a client. To which his response was "depends on whether you're talking about engines or people."

As ever with a humorous response it can then get the old mind turning over and whilst we were talking about a purchasing strategy for engines and all its parts (including the dipstick) I wondered how we could apply the strategy to our life and well being in particular. Engines after all:

• Have an expected life
• Can have a shorter life due to over work 
• Need regular MOT's
• May need reconditioning or repairing
• Can stop working if repairs aren't done soon enough
• Can fail to work due to inactivity
• Sometimes need new parts
• Need a trained mechanic to mend them
• Can be damaged by 'tinkering' by the owner 
• Are impacted by bad driving
• Need the right energy, fuel and lubricants to keep them moving
• Are impacted by the environment

As Castrol suggests on their web site "sludge is engine cholesterol" and the beating engine reminds us all of the likeness between the engine and our hearts.

Which of the above have you forgotten to do in your life and what action will you take to rectify it so your engine keeps running?

We've a purchasing strategy on Transmissions to develop too. I've been told they're like my legs so since the doctor recently told me I have arthritis and need a new knee I'm starting to wonder what new strategy for the arthritis I may uncover as a result of our conversations. I will keep you posted.

Do let me know if I can help you to ensure all the engines in your team keep running - real or metaphorical.

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Sowing the seeds of effective purchasing in your business

Picture Source: castrol.com via Alison on Pinterest

6 out of 7 of Disney's dwarfs are not Happy

6 out of 7 dwarfs in the Disney story are of course not called Happy :-) but seeing the tweet today made me think of recent choices I've made to maximise the opportunities for my own happiness.

Stopped watching NCIS!

I love the characters in NCIS and really watch it for the relationships and banter. Yet I realised something was making me agitated and that agitation seemed to disappear when I was away from home. On further investigation I realised my watching NCIS nightly wasn't doing me any good - the premise of any NCIS storyline being: A dead body, murder, violence, lies & deceit all enveloped by the cheerful banter between characters.

Started using PINTEREST!

I've always had vision boards around my home and know the benefit for me of positive images and words to reinforce a positive and happy outlook. The problem is they soon become part of the furniture and I don't see them. I may spend a day developing such a board but then it just sits there for months. A Pinterest board is something I can add to daily and since starting a Vision and Positive word board 6 weeks ago have noticed my improved positive and optimistic outlook. 

The only downside is Pinterest can get addictive (see my Sowing the Seeds Business Board and other boards). So I do have to remember other choices I've made over recent months and years that also contribute to a continued optimistic and therefore happier outlook:

Continue to:

Eat healthier food, Get enough sleep, Reduce (trying to cut out but failing thus far) sugar, Exercise, Get out in the Sunshine and get some Sea air (see below for evidence of this from this morning's personal training session),

Busting negative beliefs, Being in the moment (more), Spending time with people I enjoy being with, Reading inspiring books, Watching inspiring films and programmes etc.

If you're Grumpy, Sleepy or Dopey what action are you taking every day to be Happy?

Alison Smith

Sowing the seeds of optimisim in Procurement Teams

Disney Picture Source: disney.co.uk via Alison on Pinterest