Are you unhappy at work?

Apparently a third of workers in the UK are unhappy at work according to Monster UK, and reported on HRGrapevine - with only 12% of workers loving their job. The sample size wasn't huge 2844 - but is supported by other surveys.

How would you answer the question about your level of satisfaction/happiness with the work you do?

There are multiple reasons for unhappiness at work, and I'm going to concentrate on the reasons we can take personal responsibility for.

That is, today, in this moment in time, there's lots of things we can't do - alone anyway- and these include:

• We can't change a toxic leader - however much we might like to - we can only change our reaction to them.    
• We can't stop someone playing their games at work - however much we might like to - we can only change our reaction to them.
• We can't stop a bully bullying - however much we might like to - we can only change our reaction to them.
• We can't change organisational culture over night - however much we might like to - we can only change our reaction to it.
• We can't change the nature of the work we're doing - however much we might like to - we can only change our reaction to doing it.

There are however in that moment many things we can do, and that includes changing our reaction to what's happening, and taking the necessary actions to reduce whatever it is that is making us unhappy in the work we do. 

Let's start with the obvious question, the response to which may seem a little harsh.

How long have you been unhappy? 

And if the answer is longer than 12 months.

Why are you still there? 

Don't get me wrong I've been there, and certainly got the T-shirt, and stayed somewhere longer than I should ie longer than was good for me, and the organisation. Which means I can list many of the excuses for not leaving:

• I've put my heart and soul into this organisation for x years
• I'm not leaving because of x
• They need to fire z and then it will be ok again
• It will get better
• It will get better when x or y happens
• Another job won't pay me as well, or have as good terms  
• It's the only place to work around here, in easy commute etc
• I'll lose my pension, holidays, flexible working etc 
• I like my colleagues, and don't want to leave them
• Someone has to stand up to the bas£$£ds
• I won't go without a fight

As your coach I'd be asking "Is that true" for every one of these excuses, and I'd also be asking if the cost of the benefits outlined above are greater than the cost to your own happiness, and ultimately your well-being and long term survival? 

I can hear the responses now:

• But that's what working for an organisation is all about Alison
• I won't find anywhere different
• It's the price you have to pay

We may have to agree to disagree on these points. We can however agree on the need for you to assess: 

• How you would like your working life to be like, 
• What it's like now
• What needs to change to get from one to the other 
• What actions you can take to make the changes  
• What you can't change 

Which then determines whether you take the necessary actions to stay or leave.

Pointing your finger at others, and saying they're responsible for your happiness or unhappiness is the reason you're unhappy. There's lots you can do, and as these actions are as unique as you are, I'll just list some suggestions, and include links to other posts I've written that would help you explore that action more fully.

• Get clearer about your values, what motivates you, and why you do what you do, and how a value might have got too big for its boots
• Clearly outline your ideal job
• Address recurring patterns that seem to repeatedly occur in your working life (the "that always happens to me" sort)
• Dealing with anger when your buttons are being pressed
• Develop your own prescription for positivity/happiness
• Don't spend time with miserable mackerels  
• Releasing your 'adrenaline junkie' like tendencies  
• Remember there's 3 versions of any story - yours, theirs and the truth! So it can be helpful to stand in the shoes of the other person and see the situation from their perspective.
• Ensuring you're in the right state of mind and body for the task in hand
• Starting the day as you mean to go on
• Switching off your auto pilot
• Not accepting that sub-optimal performance is the norm from yourself

Some inspiration from nature via my Landscaping your Life blog includes:

• Getting out of a rut
• Seeing the wood for the trees
• Taking your head out of the sand
• Finding your paddle when you're up a creek without one
• Persevering - after aurora hunting
• Changing your comfort zone to a comfort universe
• Letting the sunshine in - a case study of someone not feeling very positive about work 
• Visiting the north pole of inaccessibility - when undertaking difficult tasks

 :-)

Although there's many other tools I share on the Landscaping Your Life site what would help support any of the actions in the first list.

Other more general posts from this blog that might help include

• Have you reached a Choice Point in your life - based on the book of the same name
• NLP changed my life - and certainly got me taking responsibility for my life, and my reaction to other people and what was happening to me
• Don't die with the music still in you
• Why do I have to change - because often this is the reason we keep doing what we've always done, and not unsurprisingly get the same outcome
• Break out of the mould
• Appreciate others 
• Getting back on track - yesterday blog shares a tool I often use with clients in this situation 

If you'd like to take responsibility for the work you're doing, and your level of satisfaction about it, and need some support, you may want to consider getting a coach to help you.

There's lots of coaches who offer support in a variety of ways. The key is finding one who best fits the outcome you want, where you are now, and your personality. I'd be happy to be considered - do get in touch to find out more alison@alisonsmith.eu +44 (0)7770 538159

  

Alison Smith

The Purchasing Coach and Landscaping Your Life too

Inspiring change inside and out

Oh no it's Sunday!

I do wonder whether I've simply joined the ranks of the #Grumpyoldwomen but what is it about wishing our life away moaning about what ever day of the week it is?  If the numerous tweets on the subject are anything to go by, basically unless it's a Saturday we wish it was a different day and are busy looking forward to that day!

Every week it starts on a Sunday with

Then Monday comes along with

and Tuesday with a

.

Wednesday appears with

and Thursday is nearly Friday.

Friday then arrives with us wishing 17.00 was here already.

Saturday seems to miss out on any negativity.

Before we're back to Sunday!

I know it's meant to be funny and humorous. I just can't help but feel sorry for all the unconscious's that pick this up and then play it back to us. If we're constantly saying the only day we have fun is Saturday then that's what will happen. Such a waste of the other 6/7ths of the week!

Alison Smith
Inspiring change inside and out - when what you're doing isn't working (and sometimes just being a #grumpyoldwoman)

Positivity or Negativity is a choice we make every minute

Today's affirmation from my affirmation app was 'my positive attitude is infectious'. 

I tweeted to suggest that our attitude is infectious whether we choose positive or negative. It's also infectious to ourselves and others. Which means every day we have a choice about the direction of our attitude up or down, positive or negative. 

And then within minutes of sending the tweet, in answer to Ricky pondering on whether it would be sunny, I responded with 

And then ..

How soon we forget. 

Thankfully the response was 

And reminded me of the choice we have about our attitude every minute of the day.

Alison Smith

Inspiring change inside and out in procurement 

Looking for the worst in people

In yesterday's blog I shared a card from the set I use when coaching clients. Today I'd like to share a couple more starting with this setback:

• Looking for the worst in people? Expecting the worst situations? No wonder you live in a hostile and painful world *

This points to the fact that our thoughts have a significant impact on our reality. If I perceive the world as hostile I'll set my internal filters to notice all the hostile acts and ignore all the peaceful and loving acts. If I perceive the world as hostile I'll become defensive and look after myself and not think of others. If I perceive the world as hostile I'll judge every situation, every action, every word from that perception. Every person I encounter will be a potential threat and every event a potential disaster.

Even as I write the words I can feel my shoulders tightening and my face starting to grimace. Not a position it's easy to start being positive from or to start seeing the opportunities that exist within.

This second insight provides the antidote.

• You use your critical perceptions to draw forth perfection, not tear it down *

A great reminder that we have a choice of how we use our minds. We can perceive the hostile and spiral down or perceive the opportunities and spiral up.

Next time you notice your thoughts spiralling down remember you have a choice to change direction.

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Drawing forth perfection in purchasing not tearing it down

Picture above links to a video source: youtube.com via Alison on Pinterest

 It can be viewed directly here (it's a great reminder that even security camera's view the positive too - we just use them more often to focus on the opposite)

* The insight & setback cards used here are from the Transformation Game © Innerlinks - www.innerlinks.com.

We get what we focus on

After a most inspiring London 2012 Olympic opening ceremony on Friday many tweeted their congratulations to all involved. Many like me blogged about it and I know a day hasn't gone by since when I've not spoken, blogged or tweeted about it with others inspired and with pride and positivity.

It's a pity therefore that the next day the tweets changed from general positivity to negativity. We Brits started to do what we do best and moan and notice all that went wrong rather than what was going well. Although I'm sure with the medals starting to come in for Great Britain that may change.

I just wish we'd all remember 2 things:

* We get what we focus on, and
* The golden ratio for effective and long lasting relationships is 5 positive interactions to 1 negative interaction - see John Gottman here on YouTube explaining more.

Every night from 2100 for an hour the lighting of the London Eye is reflecting the % of positive Olympic London 2012 tweets from within Great Britain for the day. So here's hoping that the London Eye remains over 84% illuminated to continue to keep alive the hopes, dreams and possibilities of the world which came together in the opening ceremony and continues to be represented by the Olympic Cauldron.

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Sowing the seeds for positivity within your purchasing team

PS I promise not to write anything negative for another 5 blogs :-)

London Eye Picture Source: bbc.co.uk via Alison on Pinterest

Don't spend time with Miserable Mackerels

Miserable Mackerels was a term Mike Ogilvie the Profit Man introduced me to at the Professional Speakers Association (PSA) event here in Scotland on Saturday. I can certainly see that description sticking. After all we all know many Miserable Mackerels and at times I'm sure can be one ourselves. Mike was using it in the context of customer services and it won't take you long to recall when you've been served by a Miserable Mackerel and the impact it had on the likelihood of your future custom and profitability.

The other guest speaker for the day was Derek Arden President of the PSA and Mr Negotiation who said on the topic of our professional speaking that "you are who you spend the most time with."

I blogged last week about ensuring we do the things that optimise our happiness but what Derek & Mike had me considering was the impact of our relationships with others. That is if the people I spend time with are Miserable Mackerels ie:

• negative
• pessimistic
• grumpy
• tired
• demotivated
• disengaged
• full of frowns

Then I can't but help eventually pick it up from them - or if I'm already like them continued contact means it's going to be hard to stop being like that. After all, as I said in another blog last week on Rapport, we like people who are like ourselves and will do things to reduce the differences even if that means remaining miserable!

I appreciate there may be times when support of a friend means we do put ourselves in a situation where we are presented with the list above. However sustained contact won't help us and, I'd suggest, them either.

There's another subtle aspect to this too - if I have aspirations of being a successful speaker, author and entrepreneur making a difference in the world then I need to be spending time with people who demonstrate the behaviours that will make that outcome more likely ie:

• confident
• innovative
• optimistic
• entrepreneur
• making a difference
• speaking internationally
• attracting clients
• financially successful
• contributing

If I ensure our values align then I'll increase the likelihood of this strategy working. Which means I need to add the following to my list of criteria:

• authenticity
• integrity
• spirituality
• collaboration 

What changes do you need to put in place to make achieving your goals and dreams more likely? and anyone out there wishing to put themselves forward to add to my existing list of friends, colleagues and role models please do get in touch :-).

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Sowing the seeds for procurement teams to never be accused of being Miserable Mackerels

Mackerel picture Source: uphilldowndale.wordpress.com via Alison on Pinterest

6 out of 7 of Disney's dwarfs are not Happy

6 out of 7 dwarfs in the Disney story are of course not called Happy :-) but seeing the tweet today made me think of recent choices I've made to maximise the opportunities for my own happiness.

Stopped watching NCIS!

I love the characters in NCIS and really watch it for the relationships and banter. Yet I realised something was making me agitated and that agitation seemed to disappear when I was away from home. On further investigation I realised my watching NCIS nightly wasn't doing me any good - the premise of any NCIS storyline being: A dead body, murder, violence, lies & deceit all enveloped by the cheerful banter between characters.

Started using PINTEREST!

I've always had vision boards around my home and know the benefit for me of positive images and words to reinforce a positive and happy outlook. The problem is they soon become part of the furniture and I don't see them. I may spend a day developing such a board but then it just sits there for months. A Pinterest board is something I can add to daily and since starting a Vision and Positive word board 6 weeks ago have noticed my improved positive and optimistic outlook. 

The only downside is Pinterest can get addictive (see my Sowing the Seeds Business Board and other boards). So I do have to remember other choices I've made over recent months and years that also contribute to a continued optimistic and therefore happier outlook:

Continue to:

Eat healthier food, Get enough sleep, Reduce (trying to cut out but failing thus far) sugar, Exercise, Get out in the Sunshine and get some Sea air (see below for evidence of this from this morning's personal training session),

Busting negative beliefs, Being in the moment (more), Spending time with people I enjoy being with, Reading inspiring books, Watching inspiring films and programmes etc.

If you're Grumpy, Sleepy or Dopey what action are you taking every day to be Happy?

Alison Smith

Sowing the seeds of optimisim in Procurement Teams

Disney Picture Source: disney.co.uk via Alison on Pinterest