Let go of your dreams

Words have power, and this week I realised how unconscious seemingly positive words can be in holding us back.

We don't have to go far to find ourselves encouraged to:

• Follow your dreams
• Never let go of your dreams
• Live your dream 

I get it - visions, ambitions and goals can act as a huge motivator of action. Without them it's easy to find ourselves going around in circles, treading water and going nowhere fast.

And yet - is dream the right word to use to describe what we're aiming for? 

If you're achieving your goals, ambitions or dreams then there's no need to consider whether the word you're using is appropriate. It doesn't matter, because it's either working, or not limiting you making progress. 

If you're wondering what's holding you back, however, you might want to think about what word you're using to describe the outcome you're wanting. 

Here's my perspective on why "dreams" might not work.

"Dreams" are mainly associated with what we do when we sleep - they're surreal, fantasies, intangible, ethereal, weird, and often have no relationship to science fact and make better topics of science fiction! 

Additionally after we've dreamt we wake up and go back to reality, back to real life.  

Why would "dreams" then act as a great motivator?   

In a coaching conversation earlier in the week I heard "My dream is too ethereal and unreal, a nice thought on a bad day of something to come - one day - sometime in the future." 

As I reflected on my own dream come true of becoming a published author I realised it was feeling a little surreal and disconnected from what was happening. Changing being a published author to an ambition realised felt much more concrete, and something I needed to plan for, and take action about. (Although it required a little fantasy when taking this image to help envisage the ambition :-) )

Are you following your dreams or would following your ambition, vision or aspiration get you there more successfully?  

Do get in touch if you’d be interested in a personal, team or organisational audit of the words that might be limiting your progress and success. More traditional coaching and facilitation using a range of conventional and unconventional tools is also available.

Alison Smith

alison@alisonsmith.eu

+44 (0)7770 538159

Author of Can’t see the wood for the trees – which explores solutions to sayings that are keeping you stuck. 

Sayings such as: stuck in a rut; going round in circles; up the creek without a paddle; or can’t see the wood for the trees (or for American readers that might be can’t see the woods for the trees or even can’t see the forest for the trees).

“Alison is one of the best coaches I have ever had the pleasure of working with (and I've worked with a few!). She has a highly practical nature and combines it with strong intuition and unconventional tools to guide you to find insights and answers to specific challenges. … As with any transformational coaching, you need to be prepared to take responsibility for personal change and get out of your comfort zone to find the answers you need, but Alison makes this easy with her approach.”

Mel Sherwood, author of The Authority Guide to Pitching Your Business

Will it be a bright 2018?

Happy New Year.

I wonder, are you envisaging a 2018 that's like one of these images?

or more like this? 

And more importantly is it working for you? If it is, read no further. If you know your relationship with 2018 could do with a little tweak or two then see if the following might help nudge you in the right direction.

Is it a representation that will help you achieve your goals this year? or will it help you to find the motivation to set some goals? or more of what ever it is you feel might me lacking at the moment?

As you consider your representation, what happens if you make changes to it - does 2018 feel, look or sound more or less as you would like it to be?

You may want to make your image of 2018 bigger, smaller, add or take away colour, give it some movement, move it, add a sound track, take a picture of it, change the focus, or draw it. Basically, any change or changes that make 2018 the year you'd like it to be, if of course it isn't already.

The image that represents 2018 for you might not be a number, it might be another image all together. If a landscape comes to mind you might want to pop over to my Landscaping Your Life blog for more about what changes you might want to make to the landscape.

You may not have an image for 2018 at all - it may be a feeling or a sound. The aim is to ensure that what ever your representation is for 2018 that it supports what you want to do in 2018, and not hinders it. 

The following images my help provide some clues about what changes could be made.

What about a theme tune for 2018?

or even a dance?

There is no right or wrong - just what ever comes to mind. You may want to make a collage? A model? or even bake a cake. 

Exploring the representation we have for aspects of our lives is one of the unconventional tools I decided to save for this first post of 2018. Many of the other tools I use in my coaching and facilitation had a festive feel applied to them in my advent series of posts at the end of last year. It's certainly one of my go to tools when someone is wanting to shift a current situation.

What changes might you want to make to 2018, and when will you make them?

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring Change in 2018

Route map for achieving your goals

Thought you might like this Landscaping Your life post on using metaphor to help you achieve your goals.

Are your KPIs inspiring positive change?

The challenge when developing workshops is to ensure that the sessions and breakouts embed new knowledge and insight for the delegates. Insight that means delegates go back to the office with changed mindsets, behaviours, ways of doings things or knowledge.

We’re all familiar with death by powerpoint, avoiding that therefore isn't that difficult to do! Developing breakouts is a little trickier, and certainly worth experimenting with.

A recent exercise for KPIs was one such example, and wonderfully helped bring the key learning points alive (even if I say so myself).

In order to have an experience of monitoring the KPIs they'd developed I asked the group to develop KPIs for the supplier management workshop that we could measure daily.

They thought they'd developed SMART and unambiguous KPIs that would drive the right behaviour, and certainly not get in the way of them achieving their stated objectives for the workshop. What we learnt however is, that even with the best intentions, KPIs can easily be counter productive or confusing.

Ambiguity of the KPI

One KPI suggested that 80% of delegates needed to get one 'a-ha' a day. 

As the workshop progressed the definition of an 'a-ha' was refined to include: something you'll do differently as a result of the workshop, an insight, something new, something that's made you think and so on. 

We discussed the % at which we'd be worried - ie 80% took the training from green to amber. What % took the assessment to red, and in need of urgent action?

Not linking KPIs to the outcome you want

Of course a-ha's are not necessarily the things that drive a change in behaviour - which is why I always ask "what will you do differently as a result of the workshop". Which could be better measured a week or month after the workshop, as delegates are asked to reflect on what changes they've noticed themselves making. Or even better their manager is asked to identify positive changes they've noticed,

Not applying weights to KPIs

We explored the impact if the above KPI did dip into red on one day - did that mean the workshop was a disaster? 

We felt the survey monkey to be sent after the workshop would hold a bigger weighting of whether the workshop was a success or not. Which meant we questioned whether there was value in monitoring a-ha's every day at all.

Responsibility for achieving the KPI is one way

I often call the a-ha's light bulb moments. 

We discussed whether it's only the content, and the trainer who has the ability to impact the achievement of these light bulb moments: Lack of clear personal goals for the workshop, distractions, resistance to change, false understanding of current competency level, and even not eating the right things, or drinking enough water can all have an impact on the attention of the delegate. As I touched on yesterday the heating in the room can also impact attention.

Which points to ensuring that the KPI's are seen as the responsibility of all parties involved not just the supplier. After all, if as a trainer I'm just chasing the big a-ha's, my sole focus on this may impact other areas of the training, and the delegates may not take responsibility for their attention and interest to ensure opportunities for a-ha moments are not missed.

KPIs that motivate wrong action

One KPI suggested time keeping needed to be 9-5 +/- 10 minutes. 

This resulted in a conversation about my ability to start before 9, and how many of the delegates would need to missing for me to not start on time, and was that fair to monitor me on something that was being impacted by their actions?  

It was interesting however to observe my behaviour. 

As we came to the end of day 1 I noticed the time was 1647 and said I'd keep in talking until 1650 in order to meet my KPI! A silly example I know, and yet such a great example that if we're not careful our KPIs can drive counter productive behaviours. 

KPI's that don't flex to suit the day to day agreements being made between both parties 

Due to flights on the final day meaning we wanted to leave a little earlier than stated, we extended day 2 by 30 minutes. We realised therefore that the wording of the above KPI needed to state 'agreed time' not to state the precise time. Otherwise we failed to meet the KPI for no reason than it was assumed that every day started at 9 and finished at 5.

The conversation about KPIs then touched on procurement KPIs that also provided examples of the above points:

• Budget reduction targets when procurement don't own the budgets
• Savings targets against first quote which mean suppliers could be asked to ensure they don't put in a good first quote, or are asked for quotes earlier in the process than we should
• Savings KPIs that only monitor forecast saving, and don't go on to measure actual benefit delivered
• Lack of any balanced scorecard with focus purely on savings   

Once you've developed your KPIs how will you ensure they drive positive not negative change in your suppliers or procurement team?

Alison Smith

The Purchasing Coach

Inspiring change inside and out

Are you on automatic pilot?

I've written many times in the past about not getting stuck on autopilot, the need to step out of our comfort zone or even comfort universe, and breaking out of the mould.

I'm not sure I'd truly understood what that meant, or perhaps the benefit of sustaining these new behaviours until now.

As part of my 4 new habits in 28 day challenge I decided to do one thing differently every day. I've updated the blog I wrote at the time to show a list of what I did differently over those 28 days.

In this post I'd like to share the insights I got from undertaking this seemingly simple habit.

There's certainly something counter intuitive about setting a goal of doing something different everyday - as if trying to make the spontaneous less so. That said it's been truly transformative.

the rest of this post has moved to my new website.

In conclusion doing something different every day enabled me to face some habits that were long over due an upgrade.

What will you do differently today?

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring change - inside and out

More on the outcome of the 28 day challenge can be found here.

Hypertext links in the text above link to previous blogs on the subject

Day 28: 4 new habits in 28 days - the outcome

28 days ago, after watching the doctor who gave up drugs on TV, I decided there was much I could do personally to improve the flexibility, stamina and pain of my arthritic knees. Especially when the surgeon's only response had been "keep taking the pain killers until it gets so bad, and then we'll just give you two new knees."

I knew the biggest change would need to be sustaining the habits I knew supported my knees. These habits were:

• I will consistently eat gluten free every day - achieved 25 out of 28 days (and nightshade (potatoes and tomatoes) 25/28) - even if I really really really wished it wasn't an effective habit. 
• I will do my hip mobilisation exercises every day 24/28
• I will drink at least 2 litres of water every day 24/28

Just for good measure I added a fourth habit:

• I will do at least one thing differently every day 25/28

Today I wanted to share the outcome of achieving these habits as regularly as I have:

• Walk up and down hill in local park - 8.45 mins to 7.09 mins - 18% reduction
• 1.35 mile walk at home - 29.30 mins to 25.06 mins - 15% reduction
• Movement of left knee - 35 cm to 27 cm - 23% increase in movement
• Movement of right knee - 31cm to 24 cm - 23% increase in movement
• Put sock on normally - yes (rather than pulling on leg of trousers to help pull the foot/leg upwards onto my knee)
• Walking down stairs front ways on - yes (during the night and first thing in the morning I'd started to go down sides ways as my knees didn't want to bend when not warmed up)  

How fantastic is that?

A great reminder that setting goals and doing something every day to support them makes success much more likely.

Bizarrely I never measured my pain level at the start of the 28 days. I think because its measured by the ability to bend my knee and walk quickly, ie I wasn't really taking much pain relief to start with (no more than a handful of times in the last 6 months). As has been proved recently the pain is also linked to eating gluten and nightshades (even if I'd like to hope otherwise) - so no gluten and no nightshades equals no pain!

I've written a blog sharing the insights from doing something different everyday because they've been huge. Other blogs I've written along the way have included - finding the inspiration, vision and goal setting, setting targets, doing things differently, wavering, finding support, commitment, the danger of making assumptions, measuring progress, slaying the old habits and thoughts and, by use of the Frameworks for Change Coaching Process I use in coaching, being invited to be less perfect, and to be kinder to myself. I've also explored the situation using another coaching tool, soul collage cards, too - one using the interpretation of cards when I developed them, and one looking at them with fresh eyes. 

If you do what you've always done you'll get the same result - change is where the magic happens - what will you do differently today?

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring change - inside and out

Hypertext links in the text above link to previous blogs written on the subject.

#28daychallenge

Day 23: 4 new habits in 28 days - if you keep doing what you've always done

As I reflected on the outcome of  'Doing something different' every for the last 23 days I was reminded of this landscaping your life vblog. You may want to turn your volume down before you have a listen.

Thinking about what to do differently everyday has brought into conscious awareness the habits I do - those habits where I may not even think about what to do I just do them as if by rote.

Habits such as:

• Sitting down to eat my evening meal and turning on the TV, and it then being on for the rest of the evening.
• Having a bath in the morning rather than a shower - irrespetctive of how much time I have. Allowing the bath to eat into my day despite what else I could be doing.
• Saying "No I'm ok with water" when asked if I want a tea/coffee mid way through a coaching session, and missing time out of the room to stretch my legs, and perhaps even a more comfortable watercooler/kettle conversation.
• Saying "No" to new things before I've considered if I would like to say "Yes" or the reason for my "No".

I'm sure there are others. 

What can you say "Yes" to today that you've been saying "No" to for too long despite getting an outcome you don't want? 

Alison Smith

The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring Change - Inside and Out

The 4 habits are:

1. I will consistently eat gluten free every day 21/23 (and nightshade (pots and toms) 20/23)
2. I will do my hip mobilisation every day 20/23
3. I will drink at least 2 litres of water every day 20/23
4. I will do at least one thing differently every day 21/23

The blog posts of the journey to embed 4 new habits in 28 days have so far included - finding the inspiration, vision and goal setting, setting targets, doing things differently, wavering, finding support, commitment, the danger of making assumptions, measuring progress, slaying the old habits and thoughts and, by use of the Frameworks for Change Coaching Process I use in coaching, being invited to be less perfect, and to be kinder to myself. I've also explored the situation using another coaching tool, soul collage cards, too - one using the interpretation of cards when I developed them, and one looking at them with fresh eyes.

Hypertext links in the text above link to previous blogs written on the subject.

#28daychallenge

Day 18: 4 new habits in 28 days - new perspectives

At the weekend I used some collage cards I made some time ago, and shared the insights behind the making of those cards. As I reflected on the insight I got I realised that there may be further insight available if I reviewed the cards from a different perspective. That is, if I followed the process I invite clients to follow and connected with the cards today and asked "what advice do you have for me today?" rather than think about the advice the card had 1 or 2 years ago. 

Before reading my observations you might want to think of a challenge you'd like more insight on, and then view the collage cards and see what comes to mind. There's no right or wrong just let your unconscious (or should that be subconscious) determine what you notice and direction you thoughts go on from there to find a solution.

Here's what I discovered. 

Today I'm drawn to the turtle and the slow easy movements as they move through the sea using the flow and currents within the sea to make progress. The message from the card would be "Breathe".

I notice the white bird and get the same sense I did with the turtle - less flapping and more gliding using the air currents to get from a to b. The message of the card would be "Ease and flow".

The golden 'sun/star' on the right hand side is where my focus went to immediately. Not the spiral so much as the centre that is "calm and sure". The message would be "stay true".

Just a reminder this is no right or wrong in any 'message' you may interpret from the card - it's really only your subconscious communicating with you and making meaning from the images used in the collage.

It's not a part of the collage I often take note of any more but the sitting figure looking at the sun rise/set on the top left is where my focus went today. The message would be "less doing, more being".

Not sure they said much different to the weekend's blog although it feels less onerous and huge, and as a result much easier to achieve. Just be, breathe and go with the flow.

What insight did you get from these images that you can apply to your situation - and what action will you take and when? Do you need to tell anyone about this commitment?

Alison Smith

The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring Change - Inside and Out

The blog posts of the journey to embed 4 new habits in 28 days have so far included - finding the inspiration, vision and goal setting, setting targets, doing things differently, wavering, finding support, commitment, the danger of making assumptions, measuring progress, slaying the old habits and thoughts and, by use of the Frameworks for Change Coaching Process I use in coaching, being invited to be less perfect, and to be kinder to myself.

The 4 habits are:

1. I will consistently eat gluten free every day 16/18 (and nightshade (pots and toms) 15/18)
2. I will do my hip mobilisation every day 16/18
3. I will drink at least 2 litres of water every day 16/18
4. I will do at least one thing differently every day 17/18 - I turned off my email and phone whilst concentrating on a task to do. I had my second night in a row without TV, and am aiming to have a third and fourth too!

Hypertext links in the text above link to previous blogs written on the subject.

#28daychallenge

Day 15: 4 new habits in 28 days - Transformation

Today I want to apply another tool I use in coaching to help me to embed the 4 new habits to support my arthritic knees. The tool is soul collage cards. 

I used the collage cards on day 8 when I developed a card to represent what would happen if I kept doing what I was doing. It won't really need to make sense to anyone else so long as it does me :-)   

I said in the blog that what I was moving away from wasn't as much of a inspiration and motivation for me. Today I'm looking fowards.

When I first learnt about soul collage cards at the Findhorn foundation I made a number of collage cards that resonated with insights from the workshop we'd had earlier in the week, or from my experiences using the Transformation Game* for over 10 years. 

I thought it useful to remind myself of 4 of these insights today.

If you have an issue you'd like more clarity on then do please put it to the back of your mind as you review the cards, and just notice what you notice. 

If each card had some advice for you what would they say? 

It's not just about observing the cards logically from the mind - but letting the heart and soul into the action. And yes that can take practice to do. Especially as we're all so much more comfortable using our mind to explain everything! 

The above card represented swimming in a pool, and then having the walls pulled away and realising you're actually swimming in deep water. For some people a more daunting place to be, but for me there's no comparison between a chlorinated and busy pool, swimming up and down, to swimming in deep water.

A reminder perhaps to not make these 4 habits simply a daily tick list to do, but see them more as a new way of being? 

The trainer spoke of door A and door B - much the same way as the red and blue pills in the Matrix film. 

That is, we have the option of taking the safer option, of staying with the old habits and just doing what we've always done. 

Or we can choose to do something different, and take door B - even if it might involve going through the flames just like a phoenix (if I'm not mixing too many metaphors), it does allow us to be reborn anew into a new reality.

Blimey - these cards do seem to be making these 4 new habits into something much bigger than I first imagined!

There's a setback card in the Transformation Game*, a tool that originated in the Findhorn Foundation, and it says:

For forgot you were a Radiantly Beautiful Cosmic Miracle - you forgot everyone else was too. 

The above collage was my interpretation of those words.

It's always a reminder for me to be me - and to remember that I am more than enough. No need to listen to the shoulds, oughts and musts. To just listen to my heart and soul and act from there. Or perhaps it's about directing my will in that direction (that certainly feels right as I type it - even if my head hasn't quite caught up with the full meaning of 'directing my will towards the direction of my heart and soul!?!)

There's a 'transformation square' on the transformation game, and when you land on it there's a meditation that invites you to walk through a door into what Theory U might describe as the emerging future.

As I imagined walking through the door in one game I found myself at the top of a cliff and a favourite poem of mine came to mind.

“Come to the edge, he said.

We are afraid, they said.

Come to the edge, he said.

They came to the edge,

He pushed them and they flew.

Come to the edge, Life said.

They said: We are afraid.

Come to the edge, Life said.

They came. It pushed them...

And they flew.”

It's most often cited as being written by Guillaume Apollinaire.

The above collage is my representation of that image.

Time to fly perhaps? 

Which also reminds me of a picture I sent to a friend this week:

Oh dear that does all feel quite BIG!

I realise the cards were all saying the same thing, just looking at it from a different perspective. Not too much of a surprise when I remember that the workshop was entitled the alchemy of transformation, and tools I often use in coaching are called The Transformation Game and The Frameworks for Change Coaching Process :-)

What insight did you get from these images that you can apply to your situation - and what action will you take and when? Do you need to tell anyone about this commitment?

Alison Smith

The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring Change - Inside and Out

The blog posts of the journey to embed 4 new habits in 28 days have so far included - finding the inspiration, vision and goal setting, setting targets, doing things differently, wavering, finding support, commitment, the danger of making assumptions, measuring progress, slaying the old habits and thoughts and, by use of the Frameworks for Change Coaching Process I use in coaching, being invited to be less perfect, and to be kinder to myself.

The 4 habits feel a little mundane when taken in isolation. These cards have reminded me that these new habits are about supporting me having flexible and pain-free knees. Which would truly be transformative and life changing if it was achieved. A great reminder to persevere, especially when I didn't do even one of these habits one day this week!:

1. I will consistently eat gluten free every day 13/15 (and nightshade 12/15)
2. I will do my hip mobilisation every day 14/15
3. I will drink at least 2 litres of water every day 14/15
4. I will do at least one thing differently every day 14/15 - Rather than wait till the end of the month I uploaded this week's receipts onto my invoice for a client. (I can't believe I've not done that before, I generally dread the end of the month because of this).

I did have one day this week where I didn't achieve even one of the above. Busy work, driving and late home, and therefore no focus nor attention on the task in hand. A sign perhaps that they have yet to become a habit that I do automatically without any thought - or just a busy day :-).

Hypertext links in the text above link to previous blogs written on the subject.

#28daychallenge

* The Transformation Game ©Innerlinks - www.innerlinks.com

Day 10: 4 new habits in 28 days - What gets measured gets done

The very act of blogging to update on progress has certainly meant I'm still here 10 days later having achieved 95% consistency of doing the 4 new habits that I believe will support my knees. The new habits are:

1. I will consistently eat gluten (and nightshade) free everyday 8/10
2. I will do my hip mobilisation every day 10/10
3. I will drink at least 2 litres of water every day 10/10
4. I will do at least one thing differently every day 10/10 - walked back a different way to what we walked to another new cafe!

Would I have been so vigilant if I'd just said I'd do them, and not measured and kept a track of them - perhaps not. In fact - certainly not.

Measuring that I've done what I said is of course only one way of keeping me motivated. Inspiration will also come from observing the positive outcome from doing these activities. That is, these habits have been chosen because I believe they will help improve the flexibility, stamina and pain in my knees. My personal trainer and I have therefore identified a number of ways of tracking progress - not just for the 28 days but beyond.

One means of measuring progress is the time it takes to walk around a 1.35 mile circuit here in Burntisland. Since the summer, when my knees were really bad, we've taken nearly 30% off the time! I'm hopeful that sustained application of the 4 new habits will deliver further improvement.

The other positive aspect off focusing on doing these activities to support my knees is that I'm much more aware of other negative habits that hinder me, and I am slowly letting go of those too. Or at least listing them as future habits to release and replace.

How can you measure what you need to do daily to move towards your goal, and how will you measure the outcome?

Alison Smith

The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring Change - Inside and Out

Blog posts of the journey to embed the 4 new habits have so far included - finding the inspiration, vision and goal setting, setting targets, doing things differently, wavering, finding support, commitment, the danger of making assumptions and slaying the old habits and thoughts.

Hypertext links in the text above link to previous blogs written on the subject.

#28daychallenge

Day 7: 4 new habits in 28 days - Assumptions

 

The premise of my 28 day challenge is that without sustaining a new habit for 28 days it's far too easy to fall back onto the old habit. In the blog I'm sharing what I'm doing to improve the chances of succeeding at these new habits, and how I manage the challenges and frustrations that come up during the process. 

5 years ago I was told by the surgeon to keep taking the painkillers for my arthritic knees and come back when the pain got too much. It was only then that he would consider giving me new knees (I was too young for them at the time).

Since then I've got used to blaming my mobility, tiredness or pain to my knees. It wasn't until I had a 1:1 yoga session and the teacher saw me doing something that we realised I also had something going on in my hips & buttocks! After some hip mobilisation exercises and sports massage on some lazy glutes some of the 'knee' problem was resolved. Or if not resolved, at least a solution known of how to keep things more in balance on a daily basis. If I do the exercises that is, and one reason that it's a new habit.

How easy is it to think we know the cause of a symptom we have, to then find we've made the wrong assumptions? I'm sure we do it all the time with people too.

Where might you be making assumptions without the accurate data to support those assumptions? How can you verify the assumptions being made, and/or what evidence do you have that your assumptions are not accurate?

Alison Smith

The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring Change - Inside and Out

You may also like a previous blog post entitled 'judgements are simply assumptions'.

Progress made on day 7:

1. I will consistently eat gluten (and nightshade) free everyday - achieved - thankfully - after the blip yesterday - 6/7
2. I will do my hip mobilisation every day -  achieved 7/7
3. I will drink at least 2 litres of water every day - achieved - I'm certainly finding it easier to achieve and exceed. Travelling next week will be when it becomes more of a challenge 7/7
4. I will do at least one thing differently every day - achieved - I'm still not hoovering which was Day 5's 'do something different' and is making me twitchy !! Today's activity involved watching TV from a different sofa - one that visitors always wonder why I don't use. 

Blog posts of the journey to embed the 4 new habits have so far included - finding the inspiration, vision and goal setting, setting targets, doing things differently, finding support, wavering and commitment.

Anyone with Arthritis may also want to review my Pinterest board with over 150 links on how you might be able to improve living with arthritis. Just for the record - my knees cannot currently take on the position shown in the above picture :-) - although I am liking many of the more athletic pictures I'm choosing for this series of posts. 

Hypertext links in the text above link to previous blogs written on the subject.

#28daychallenge

Day 6: 4 new habits in 28 days - Commitment

The premise of my 28 day challenge is that without sustaining a new habit for 28 days it's far too easy to fall back onto the old habit. In the blog I'm sharing what I'm doing to improve the chances of succeeding, and how I manage the challenges and frustrations that come up during the process. (see the bottom of the post for progress on these habits.)

Which of the following is the most motivational to you:

• My doctor wants me to drink more water
• My knees want me to drink more water daily
• I wish I could drink more water
• I would like to drink more water 
• I should drink more water 
• I need to drink more water 
• I must drink at least 2 litres of water a day
• I ought to drink at least 2 litres of water a day
• I want to drink at least 2 litres of water a day
• I hope I can drink more water a day
• I will try to drink at least 2 litres of water a day
• My goal is to drink at least 2 litres of water a day
• I will drink at least 2 litres of water a day
• I will drink at least 2 litres of water every day

For me this last statement works better at ensuring I take action - no musts, oughts and shoulds, no wishy washy would like, hope, or trying - just a commitment to do it! 

What about you? What words make most sense to you? How can will you reword your goal to ensure it's sufficiently inspiring, and involves a commitment from you to take action every day towards achieving it?

Alison Smith

The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring Change - Inside and Out

Progress made on day 6 - with some amendments to reflect the insights from today's blog:

1. I will consistently eat gluten (and nightshade) free every day - oh dear achieved on GF but failed on nightshades even if by mistake! I popped into the shop on the way home, and thought I'd get some GF fish in batter but they didn't have any. So without thinking I bought some fishcakes - forgetting until I started to eat them that they contained potato :-(! No idea if it's nocebo or the sports massage that mean I have painful knees this am.

See this video from David Hamilton with a lighthearted depiction on the difference between placebo and nocebo.

1. (numbering on the blog obviously doesn't like me adding in the video) I will do my hip mobilisation daily every day -  achieved even if done during my sports massage rather than self directed
2. I will drink at least 2 litres of water daily every day - achieved
3. I will do at least one thing differently every day - achieved - I bought a dragon fruit although I did then have to look up what to do with it. 

Blog posts of the journey to embed the 4 new habits have so far included - finding the inspiration, vision and goal setting, setting targets, doing things differently, wavering and finding support.

For anyone wishing to get support to embed new habits in their lives, or with a vision or goal in need of a good overhaul you may want to consider coaching. More about the coaching I offer here.

Hypertext links in the text above link to previous blogs written on the subject.

#28daychallenge

Day 1: 4 new habits in 28 days - Goal Setting

And we're off.

Update: Day 1 of 28 days to embed 4 new habits - in my case habits that support my arthritic knees. Although this process of adopting new habits, by committing to do them for 28 days, can be applied to any habit in work, life or play! 

So do please join me as you also adopt a new habit or two, allowing us to silence the old habits' whisperings, and face the challenges together.

Progress made on day 1 was:

1. I will eat gluten free every day (not just when i feel like it) - achieved - although easier than when I first went GF four years ago - I just need to be consistent 
2. I will do my hip mobilisation daily -  achieved but again easily because we did it as part of personal training 
3. I will keep sufficiently hydrated - easy to say achieved as I failed to set a target - oops
4. I will do one thing differently every day - achieved - I cleaned my teeth using my left hand! More on why I've chosen this as new habit in a future blog.

Observation: 

Sh%T - too many things to think about - how will I measure progress, what's my end goal, why am I doing this, how will I share my progress and .... what about doing some work and not blogging ..... oh and what were the 4 new habits I said I wanted to commit to. Just starting to realise why it's best to keep it to one new habit not four!

First thing I need to do is understand why I'm wanting to make the commitment in the first place. What's the reason - the 'why' behind making the effort.

For me the why is about improved flexibility, stamina and less pain in my knees. Although as I type I realise that's not enough of a why - what will having that flexibility and stamina do for me in life - what will it allow me to do that I can't do at the moment. In other words what's my vision. To get a better understanding of this I realise a well formed outcome will help, and commit to do this over the weekend.

I also realise I need to understand where I am in relation to my goal currently. That way any progress made over the 28 days can provide the added motivation to stick with the new habits. My personal trainer and I chatted about these, and by Monday will have the 'current situation' logged.

I then need to double check that these new habits will support me achieving this goal. I suspect there are other new habits, and if I can get these cracked first it will make everything else a lot easier to do.

Other activities undertaken to support my knees:

Having found it easy to beat myself up in the past for not making progress, I realise there are other activities that I'm already doing on a daily basis to support my goal of flexible and pain free knees. In order to stop the beatings I'm going to remind myself daily of what these additional activities are:. 

• Marjoram essential oil in my bath
• Beetroot in my risotto 
• Ginger with lemon in hot water first thing 
• Flat and cushioned footwear - for work, rest and play

What would help you to pat yourself on the back daily?

I'd love to hear how you got on, and the challenges you're facing as we adopt new habits in our lives.

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring Change - Inside and Out

Hypertext links in the text above link to previous blogs written on the subject either here on The Purchasing Coach site or over on my Landscaping Your Life site where I use nature as a metaphor and teacher for our lives. 

Anyone with osteoarthritis may also want to review my Pinterest board with over 150 links on how you might be able to improve living with arthritis. In addition to keeping hydrated and eating gluten free these also include use of beetroot, ginger and marjoram.

#28daychallenge

How to get back on track

These pictures might not look much but they represent the difference between being stuck and getting back on track for one client.

I often share on my blog some of the coaching tools I use - whether that's metaphors, language, collage, Frameworks for change, standing in their shoes and so on.

I don't use them just because they're different - I use them because they're effective.

One common reason for their effectiveness is the way in which they bypass the barriers or resistance we have to making the changes we need to make. After all, very simplistically, if we weren't resisting (in one some form or other) we'd already have what we say we want (obviously sometimes coaching is about defining what we want in the first place).

Yesterday I used a very frequent friend of mine - and I'm not sure I even have a name for it - lots of theory behind why it works - but over time it's morphed into the following process.

1. Identify how satisfied you are with your life on a scale of 0-10.
2. Identify key areas of your life and write them on post-its (using size of writing, colour of writing, size, shape, colour and position on the flip chart  to differentiate between them). Areas may include: work, health, fitness, finance, home, hobbies, friends, family, relationship, contribution, spirituality and so on.  
3. You may also, or instead, wish to include post-its for feelings - eg joy, laughter, freedom, openness, safety etc (see this post for a different way of using this process to explore your values, and the impact they may be having on your life at the moment).  
4. Review the pattern you see in the post-its. How might the current pattern explain why things are, and aren't, happening the way they are? That is - is something blocking you seeing another post it, is one bigger or smaller than others, do colours make any difference - and so on?
5. What changes might you want to make to the original representation? Don't just do this logically - let you heart get involved, and see if there's changes it would suggest you make. Taking care that you don't discount something that's very meaningful to you (which is easier to type than do in practice, especially if you're trying to do this on you own). 
6. Make the changes, and notice what you notice. Might further changes be needed? Just keep going till it either looks, feels or sounds just right when you review it. 
7. How satisfied do you now feel with your life? 
8. What actions have arisen as you've developed this new representation? When will you take them? (NB the answer may be "none", because the changes have happened unconsciously. In which case I'd invite you to set a date with yourself to review progress in a few days or weeks time once everything has settled. (I recently had a very intensive sports massage session, and it wasn't until 2 weeks later that I realised the tension has finally gone completely. It had slowly done it's magic over the 2 weeks once the massage guy had started the release. )

What action can you take today to bypass the barriers or resistance you have to having the life you want?

Alison Smith

The Purchasing Coach

Inspiring change inside and out, and using nature to do that via Landscaping your life too.