Why do I have to change?

For much of a recent category and supplier management workshop I was encouraging those there to adapt their style to that of their stakeholder.

 

A common response to this is to say "but why do I have to change - why can't the other person adapt their style to mine."

 

You don't have to change anything if what you're doing is working.

 

I'll say that again.

 

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING IF WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS WORKING.

 

The clue is "if it's working".

 

If you have no need to influence the other person ie for them to change, and are happy with the current state of play then don't do anything differently. Simple.

 

If you're not getting the response you want you can either keep doing what you're doing and most likely get the same response, or adapt your style and see if it opens the door to effective communication with that individual.

 

As a result of me learning and applying all these influencing tools my stakeholder said I was easier to deal with. The funny thing was I thought she was easier to deal with. Once I stopped saying things in a certain tonality, and used words that made sense to her not me, and made her feel heard and appreciated our relationship blossomed :-).

 

Of course you don't have to stop being you - to successfully influence others however it is useful to be able to flex your style to suit the environment.

 

Alison Smith

Inspiring Change inside and out - when what you're doing isn't working

 

I'm an associate of Future Purchasing - so for more on the category and supplier management workshops I deliver with them please do visit the website.

For more on the influencing tools I incorporate into the procurement training ( for Future Purchasing and other consultancies) you may want to read this blog on 'how NLP changed my life' (bare with me and read it please) or this one introducing some of the influencing tools.