• change meanings (undistort)
• retrieve information (undelete)
• expand limits (ungeneralise)
In other words we ask open questions - what, how, when, who, where, which, whose etc.
If we can determine whether someone is generalising, deleting or distorting it will impact the type of questions we ask - such as:
"His voice irritates me" - how does his voice cause you to be irritated?
"Taking calls in a meetings means you don't respect me" - have you ever taken a call in a meeting without it meaning you didn't respect the person?
"He's a better purchaser" - who is, better than who?
"They don't understand" - who doesn't?
"No-one knows what's going on" - what no-one?
"I must do this report" - what would happen if you didn't?
Next time you're just about to react to what someone has said why not ask a few more questions to check understanding - you might just be surprised.
The Purchasing Coach
Sowing the seeds for effective stakeholder engagement
This post is part of a series introducing some NLP tools and techniques that can significantly improve your stakeholder engagement, communication and team working.