Should we change Meeting's name?

Did you hear about Pavlov? He was researching salivation in dogs (as you do), and realised that, when he entered the room to feed them, and then later when he just rang a bell, the dogs salivated. That is they had an unconditioned response that meant seeing him (or hearing the ring of the bell) meant they automatically salivated without food being anywhere in sight (stimulus - response).

We do this all the time - it's what any phobia is based upon - there may be no logical reason to fear most household spiders in the UK but the person with a spider phobia over team has learnt an unconditioned response to feel fear when they see a spider, or perhaps the stimulus has to be the spider moving in order to illicit the response of fear.

Many of our bad habits continue as a result of such unconscious stimulus/responses:

• We feel a particular emotion, and automatically, and every time we feel it, we start eating chocolates
• We sit down to eat our tea, and automatically, and every time, turn the TV on
• We go to the cinema, and automatically, and every time order an extra large bag of popcorn too 
• We go to the gym, and automatically, and every time, go the pub straight after

It's the automatic, unconscious aspect to the response that points to it being unconditioned behaviour.

We also have unconditioned responses to people and places - we only have to hear their name or see their picture and will respond either positively or negatively. We didn't have to replay an event or think about the person consciously. Our stimulus response meant that unconsciously our body reacted to the image in a particular way - as it would every time it saw a picture of them.

In NLP terminology this process of stimulus/response is called anchoring, because we've anchored a particular response to a particular stimulus.

I wonder is that what we're now doing when we hear the word 'Meeting'.  

Over time what response have we built up unconsciously and automatically to the word 'meeting'. or perhaps it's the response we have to the sight of meeting room, or the response we have to certain people's meetings?

As with anything, if you're happy with your or others response to the meetings you hold, then there's no need to change anything.

The challenge comes when you know your meetings are not meeting expectations.

I read a post from Bernard Marr entitled Stop going to Bad meetings which provided some tips on how to improve the meetings you do attend. Subsequent comments have provided other suggestions - including my own to have a walking meeting.

I wonder however, what happens if we consider Pavlovian conditioning and apply it to meetings. What could we be doing that means we're generating an unconscious and automatic negative response from our attendees?

• Calling it a 'meeting' may be enough to generate a negative response - the association over time between the word and death by powerpoint and boredom etc. In which case could you call it something else?
• Similarly using the word 'agenda' may be enough to generate negative response in others.
• Starting on the hour, and lasting an hour links it to other meetings people have attended - it's not highlighting it as a meeting with a difference, it's telling everyone's unconscious what to expect - a meeting that's just like every other meeting you've attended. Which, depending on the culture and success of meetings at your organisation, is either a good thing or not!
• Starting the meeting with the most boring, lengthy and least interactive topic. "It can only get better" isn't a great thought you want your attendees thinking at the start of a meeting.

The aim for those leading meetings is not to allow the anchor to previous useless / time wasting meetings to fire up for attendees, and for it to then generate a response of expectant boredom. We must take responsibility for flagging that this meeting is different, purposeful, will be full of energy and run efficiently and effectively. I for example often invite people to consider what quality they are bringing to the meeting/training - but if I did that every time it would soon melt into the background noise of pointlessness.

What can you do to ensure your next meeting meets and even exceeds expectations, and starts to build a positive anchor for when you invite people to a meeting?

Words have power, that's why I love exploring the negative and positive impact the language we're using might be having on us achieving our goals. However odd it might seem using 'problem', 'solutions' or 'answers' could just be the difference between success and failure!

Alison Smith
The Purchasing Coach
Inspiring change - inside and out

More on the procurement consultancy, training and coaching services I'm offering in 2017 here - a clue - it includes soft skills, unconventional tools, creativity, language and inspiring change in procurement!

Begin with the end in mind

During last week's Category Management workshop we discussed how to ensure we start meetings/workshops, and our day, in the appropriate state of mind to achieve the objectives for the session.

All to often we rush from one meeting to the next, grab a coffee, answer a few emails and start the session distracted, and already thinking about the next meeting.

With all this rushing about and busyness the challenge is we're not always in a state of mind, body and emotions that is conducive to an effective and efficient meeting.

The solution is so simple it's often seen as common sense, and therefore ignored, with assumptions being made that "we're already doing all this", or "we don't have time to do it right so let's just get on with the meeting before we waste any more time!" or even worse thinking "I'm ok so everyone else must be too!"

There's so much we can do to ensure we shift into a resourceful state at the start of the meeting and this can include:

Looking after our well-being

• Ensuring we're appropriately fed and watered (dehydration can hinder thinking - so too grumbling stomachs or too much caffeine or sugar) 
• Ensure room temperature and ventilation is at appropriate levels (such an easy thing to get wrong and can be the source of much distraction)
• Having had some quiet time during the day (because otherwise you will be trying to do too many things in the meeting rather than pay attention)
• Ensuring regular breaks are taken
• Taking responsibility for our body posture (because a tense body leads to tense thinking)

Clarity of objective

• Agreeing the outcome needed
• Agreeing the process to be used to achieve this - this may be achieved via an agenda
• Agreeing timings
• Agreeing roles and responsibilities 

Agreeing how to minimise distractions 

• Taking time to write down what you're thinking/worrying about to pick it back up at the end of the meeting (childlike perhaps and an effective tools for compartmentalising the meeting for our brain, and therefore metaphorically leaving everything else at the door)
• Closing emails on laptops/phones
• Having a car park for unrelated issues to discuss at a later time
• Having a red/yellow card to use for rabbit holes

Agreeing what won't help the meeting achieve it's objectives

• Talking about unrelated topics
• Gossiping (I may write a blog on this as it's interesting how often we can fall back into behaviour that could be described as gossiping)
• Talking over others
• Repeating past grievances
• and so on

What behaviours are agreed as unacceptable will be culturally specific - for example the acceptable level of, and vocality of disagreement could be very different between different teams/countries. I know from recent experiences in the Netherlands and Finland that both find a less direct approach very frustrating.

Agreeing what will help you achieve the objectives

• Reminding ourselves what state of mind and body will be most appropriate - for example if creative thinking is required how can you do something that will inspire that type of thinking. Sitting around the same table in the same building may not do that - whilst going for a walk outside might! Or perhaps get the Creative Whack Pack out.
• Common suggestions for helpful behaviours include: respect, courage to speak up, receptivity, openness, honesty and so on.
• I sometimes use cards (see pictures above or below) by way of a discussion about what is needed for the session. Years after I'd left full time employment the team I used to work with still used these cards to start meetings - that is they'd found it was a useful way to keep meetings on track - and not just a peculiarity or foible of my meetings :-)

Starting by being in rapport with each other

• Starting by focussing on what everyone agrees on, and has in common with each other - it may be the current situation, the problems, the need to find a solution (see this blog for more on rapport)
• Doing something together - the obvious - having a drink, introductions, sharing updates etc
• Doing something together - not for everyone - mindful breathing, showing appreciation ;-) 

I know much of the above is common sense but a reminder of these best practices at the start of a meeting ensures they are fresh in people's minds. 

Rather than repeat the above lists at every meeting you may just want to start the meeting with:

• What Worked Well - at the last or other meetings
• Even Better If - from previous or other meetings

That is have a discussion about how you all want the meeting to be conducted - this will enable you to discuss positive behaviours it's easy to forget about, and less than positive behaviours its easy to let back in. Remembering that bad habits, as well as good habits, can find their way into unconscious competence/incompetence.

I'd love to read your suggestions on how you ensure everyone gets the most from their attendance of a meeting, and how you ensure objectives are achieved.

For more about the content of the training last week do see yesterday's blog on "I've written a blog on that".