By positivity I don't mean being overly chirpy when the chips are down and blatantly ignoring the situation believing naively that it will sort it self out. I also don't mean being positive to the exclusion of other emotions we're feeling - for example being upset and angry generally preclude positivity and yet can be very positive emotions. I also don't mean being positive in a pull yourself together sort of way when grief, mental health or physical ill health make it so difficult to do anything.
The positivity I'm talking about is simply an acceptance that perhaps we're viewing life in a half empty cup sort of way when others around us are telling us it's nearly over flowing. When our filters have got stuck on "let's notice everything that's gone wrong" and beliefs are formed that "nothing ever goes right for me."
In these situations lack of positivity is a choice we have and there are many things we can do to get joy for life back. Which previous purchasing coach blogs would suggest include:
- remembering everything is interrelated - there won't just be one solution
- doing more things that bring you joy and doing less of the things that don't
- visiting places that bring you joy
- doing things that make you laugh
- steering well clear of the miserable mackerels in your life
- looking for the best in others
- not blaming others for how we're feeling
- stoping, looking, listening and taking time out
- remembering we get what we focus on
- finding something you have passion for in life
- making a list of things that generally shift your mood and keeping it handy for reference when you forget
- exploring the impact some of your addictions to people, activities or substances are having
- don't keep doing the same things if they continue to bring you down
- ensuring you believe "I can do it"
- noticing the language you're using and impact that might be having
- remembering our own magnificence :-) this is my favourite quote
- exploring the impact the food you're eating is having on your well being (I cannot believe I haven't written one on this!! Nearest was this blog about buring our heads in the sand and ignoring the obvious and this about how to have alert and engaging people in meetings)
- moving the body - it never fails to amaze me how just going for a walk can shift the mood
- getting enough sleep
- drinking enough water
- realising we are enough
- one I heard on the radio at the weekend from Philippa Hanna I am Amazing is wonderful
- or this from Rent that reminds us to measure the year in love
- or Affirmation from Savage Garden
- or (sorry will stop now) sing Defying Gravity at the top of your voice - or what ever works for you ;-)
- oopps just one more - or watch this dance from SYTYCD to a woman's work
Hopefully something here will resonate - do leave comments on what works for you. That way we can have a reference list to return to when ever we realise we need a little nudge in the right direction.
Although do please visit the doctor or health practitioner if no matter what you do you just can't shift a constant feeling of negativity. There are many mental and physical ill health conditions that manifest themselves in such feelings (remember age or just having one of those days won't impact you for any length of time). Many of these can be easily shifted with the right prescription (whether intake, action or talking).
Alison Smith
Inspiring change inside and out
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