Self-Confidence - the difference between success and failure

Self-Confidence is often the major differentiator between failure and success – which is why it surprises me that we so often ignore what we could be doing to increase our own, or our team’s confidence. I'd go as far as to say that, certainly in the UK, anyone expounding their confidence too loudly and saying "I believe in me" would be labelled as arrogant rather than assured. Despite confidence's positive impact on personal and organisational performance. 

When I undertook my modelling project on negotiation I discovered that the major differentiator between a successful negotiation, and an unsuccessful one was the level of confidence someone felt before entering the negotiation room.

Not so unsurprising really when you think about it.

It leads us to then consider what benefit a 5% increase in confidence delivers? Or does the benefit only get interesting when confidence increases 50% or perhaps even 100%. Or is confidence on a more digital scale where we simply do or don't have confidence?

Confidence banishes a number of emotions and thoughts that hinder success, and delivers other characteristics that support our success. In and of itself not a guarantee of success, and yet something that certainly improves the probability of success.

Why bother some ask? And that's the crux of this post – I bother because it's the single biggest outcome of the coaching sessions I provide. I know that as a result of that increase in confidence my client is able to do something that they previously wouldn't have been able to do.

Confidence can banish, reduce or negate

• Fear or dread
• Doubt
• Negativity 
• Limiting beliefs
• Comfort zones
• Resistance 
• Rigidity

Confidence can provide, enhance or support

• Clear thinking
• Clarity of communication
• Creativity & innovation
• Improved decision making
• Motivation for action
• Openness to change
• Flexibility of approach
• Ability to address or tackle issues head on
• Joy for life
• Self expression

All aspects that impact performance - on an hourly not just daily basis.

Confidence can wax and wane, and the key for anyone is therefore understanding what work's for them in getting confidence back when it's evading them.

Future posts this month will explore the processes for increasing our confidence.

What benefits does confidence provide you - please do leave your suggestions in comments below or on the LinkedIn discussion I started. More importantly what tools do you have in your toolkit for ensuring your, or your team's, confidence is available when it's needed?

Alison Smith

The Purchasing Coach

Unlocking Potential using unconventional tools 

alison@alisonsmith.eu +44 7770 538159

You may also find the postcard written to Procurement with love from confidence of interest - it's one of many postcards written from our soft skills brought together in the Purchasing Coach Soft Skills Toolkit. The toolkit provides an unconventional means of exploring soft skills and their development. 

The notes from a recent talk at a CIPS branch meeting on Soft Skills for Procurement Success, that used the toolkit as the content for the session, may also provide insight.

Dear Procurement, with love from Confidence

POSTCARD

Dear Procurement,

We were thinking about the postcard that emotions sent you earlier in the week, and were wondering whether many people would even consider their emotions to be a soft skill. Perhaps they're not in the truest sense of the definition.

What emotions do have though is a huge impact on the outcome of your behaviours. You can be an expert at doing something, but if fear, sadness or anger take hold, your ability to use those expert skills may just go out of the window.

Confidence may not strictly be a single emotion either, more an amalgamation of a number of emotions, but we're certainly something that if you don't manage well can significantly impact the outcome you achieve.

We'd love to help you achieve your goals, and yet we're often taken for granted or ignored. There's so much you could do to access us more often, and yet you act as if you have no control over our appearance or disappearance.

We've sent a picture of tree roots because they remind us that when you're grounded in the moment (some might say the NOW), and authentically yourself (with no 'shoulds' 'oughts' or 'musts') you are confident.

What can you do every day to ensure the relationship between us supports your goals, rather than prohibits success being a reality?

With love from your Confidence


Other posts using the theme of postcards written to procurement from their soft skills have covered an introduction, change management, emotions and a post on how to use the postcards to develop your soft skills (on your own or in groups).

A selection of postcards from others of your soft skills have been brought together into the Purchasing Coach Soft Skills Toolkit. You can find more about buying the Toolkit here - for personal use (at a cost of only £4.99) or organisationally (cost on request).

A toolkit entitled Dear Human, with love from your Soft skills has also been developed, and is available for non Procurement professionals wanting to develop their soft skills.

Alison Smith

The Purchasing Coach
Unlocking Procurement Potential Using Unconventional Tools.

alison@alisonsmith.eu +44(0)7770 538159

© Alison Smith 2017