You have a choice - A or B

It's so often the other person who is to blame - they're rude, disrespectful, impatient, don't understand, arrogant, at fault, wrong, resistant, lying, dishonest, lazy, selfish, hiding something, and so on (A) However .... there's always another perspective .... If the response you're getting isn't the one you'd expect or desire you might ask yourself "how have our or my own personal behaviours, words and actions contributed to the current situation?" (B) In A we're suggesting there's nothing we can do to change the outcome, in B we're taking personal responsibility for what we can do to facilitate a different outcome. I'm not suggesting B is easy. Yet B is the route I often ask others to take when coaching and facilitating them - because that's that's how personal growth is nurtured, how comfort zones are expanded, and where solutions are found. Every day you have a choice to go with A or B - what will you choose?

I wrote a blog on that - Soft Skills

On Monday's Soft skills workshop we touched on many subjects I've written a blog on.

As promised here's an index of those posts: 

• Unconscious incompetence through to unconscious competence (how we learn)
• Why do we ignore experts
• Standing in the shoes of your stakeholders 
• What motivates your stakeholders

• We see others through our own lenses
• The subtleties of influencing
• The top 10 things to remember when communicating
• Having a chocolate moment 
• The roles we play - bad cop
• How our values impact our relationship with others
• Self confidence 
• The horror stories of procurement gone wrong because we need to remind our stakeholders of the pain we're helping them avoid not just the pleasure we're moving them towards.
• Building bridges with others cropped up when the forth road bridge was closed to traffic back in 2015, and the metaphorical exploration might add to the Lego bridge building session!

We used a number of unconventional tools for problem solving and providing a different perspective on a number of challenges with stakeholders. (Many of the following posts have a festive theme as they were part of the advent series of 25 posts sharing unconventional tools for coaching and facilitation).

• Redacted Reflection 
• Pipe cleaners /Lego
• Drawing
• Collage - there's one post on collage entitled momentum provides motivation  
• Role models 
• Books/Magazines
• Intuitive Solutions - more on use of the tool here - and you can buy your own pack here.
• Language - Maverick spend - Answers or Solutions - Problems? 

We had an "interesting" discussion on Time Management, and here's a few posts on the subject:

• Time management - this Pinterest board with links to over 100 articles on the subject
• Juggling Balls and Spinning plates - a metaphorical exploration 
• Walking the talk on handling emails  
• Metaphors for email management 
• Goal Setting
• Deadlines - are they killing you?

Well-being also cropped up, and here's a couple of posts that might resonate.

• Adrenaline junkie
• Priorities

As ever, there's so much we could have covered in such a short space of time. The post I wrote on the 7 barriers to optimal performance may shed some light on what soft skills you may want to focus on for further development.

Anyone interested in finding out more about soft skills, problem solving or creativity workshops or coaching do get in touch alison@alisonsmith.eu +44 (0) 7770 538159

Dear Organisation, With Love from Procurement

Dear Procurement - please see this BIG PS especially for you.

Dear Organisation,

I’m sorry. I think we got a bit lost, and I wanted to explain myself and find out whether there was a future for us.

I know you think I conned you; that maybe I’m not what you need. And I take full responsibility for that. It wasn’t deliberate, but I don’t think that I showed you my best qualities. I’d like to.

Sometimes, I’ve let trying to please you get in the way of offering the advice or support you required to help you achieve what you needed to. I know that’s what you loved about me when we first met, but I think we’ve moved past that. What I should have given you is good, long term, advice.

I really hope that we can make this work, and that you’ll agree to give me another chance.

Please?

I don’t think I’m deluding myself that you’d even consider trying again. And so, when you’ve had some time to think, I’d like to talk more about how we could do better together.

I still love you,

With Love from Procurement xx

For the much extended, lighthearted, and glossy version of this letter in PDF form to use within your business see my LinkedIn page here. You'll also find a less glossy but extended version as a LinkedIn blog.

and do follow #WithLoveFromProcurement on social media - even better - why not get involved?

Dear Procurement

Dear Procurement,

The Dear Organisation, With love from Procurement letter written to organisations around the world, to open up the dialogue with us, was heartfelt. 

The perception of many about our profession, and the value we can add is woefully inaccurate. 

BUT, 

and there is a big huge BUT, 

The perception others have of us is actually up to us, or is it down to us? Either way, we're responsible for the reaction we generate in others. 

If people view us as penny pinchers, it's because that's what they see us doing. 

If people view us solely as the bad cop, it's because that’s who we are when we’re with them - day in, day out. 

If people come to us to only fight their fires, we’ve obviously only told them to ring 999 in an emergency, and not provided 101 or any other alternate numbers they need for other situations where our skills could be used. 

If they don't give us time to do our job properly - why did we not know about it sooner? Proaction or reaction is a choice we make every day. Reaction will always have us on the back foot. 

Until Procurement stop moaning and blaming others, and start taking personal responsibility for the perception of us by others nothing will change. Yesterday’s letter was one of the many things I'm doing to change the conversation - what action have or will you take today?